Have you ever tried to mix personal family or friendship relationships with business? How did it work for you? Some people function very well in a context of mixing work with friendship or family life. Others struggle with many inherent pitfalls. Whether you choose to rush in or avoid these arrangements, it is wise to be prepared. More than likely, even if it’s not of your own making, you will someday be in a position to deal with a scenario that involves the mixing of personal with business relationships.
In my experience as a finance professional I have seen business situations in which the participants’ actions were heavily impacted by relationships with family or friends who were involved. Even the savviest businessperson can struggle to make decisions at “arm’s length” when the personal relationship is clearly not arm’s length.
Personal finance guru Dave Ramsey advises, “I do a lot of business with friends. But I make sure that the specific requirements of our relationship are laid out very clearly, in writing.” In addition, “Just be straightforward, and make sure the rules are understood by everyone involved. Then, when you have to enforce the rules, do it gently but firmly.”
Of course, the tendency when working with friends or family members is to avoid solidifying details or getting anything in writing, let alone seeking legal counsel. After all, this can wrongly be perceived as demonstrating a lack of trust.
In reality, the best way to preserve relationships is to manage expectations. Talk through the relevant deal points, and solidify your agreements in writing. No exceptions really means no exceptions: Get your agreements in writing, even (or perhaps, especially) when dealing with family or friends.
Blogger Ron Edmondson provided some cautions on working with friends, including risks for both the organization and the relationship between friends: “The bottom line is that doing the best thing for the organization often involves making hard decisions. Leaders should not be held back because of the level of difficulty.”
Doing business with disinterested third parties is more straightforward in some respects because both parties are clear that the relationship is business, not personal. Attorney and CPA Mark Kohler recommends a simple test to determine whether to enter a business relationship: “Bottom line: if you feel you can’t ask for thorough documentation, or could never sue or send a nasty letter to the person you are going to be in business with, this is probably a project you should walk away from to hang on to the relationship.”
Rob Weinberg gives insight on his approach: “So if I’m doing business with a friend I find it’s critical to insist at the outset that the friendship is the priority. If there’s ever a question of the business tainting the friendship, we both agree to walk away from the business relationship. Furthermore, any indication of uncertainty at the outset eliminates the possibility of our working together.”
Harrison Barnes provides perspective on why organizations do not allow managers to hire their friends or relatives: “Reducing corruption and increasing efficiency are the primary reasons many organizations have anti-nepotism policies. Corruption has always been a concern in this realm. If individuals who are friends or relatives work together, organizations fear that these individuals may collaborate to advance their own interests rather than the interests of the organization.”
In future installments we will look at how finance professionals can position themselves to help navigate their businesses through tricky scenarios, and one of these would be a personal-turned-business relationship that goes awry.